the backstory

my husband, satyajit, and i have been married for about eight months. we spent two weeks together just after our wedding, and then i spent two weeks with him last month, when tragedy compelled me to journey to india earlier than i had planned. i know this does not seem like a long separation, but in fact we've had a long-distance relationship for nearly four years. first an online romance, to a long-distance engagement, and finally and most-painful of all, a long-distance marriage.

it seems hard to believe all that is behind us now. instead of waiting for him to arrive on my side of the world, i've come to join him and his family on his side. india. i've never lived here before. i've come on quite a few visits durning my lifetime, but all were brief - a maximum of three weeks. and until our engagement i'd never even come to mumbai, actually navi mumbai (new bombay), but always stayed in the north where my relatives live.

most people begin their new lives when they get married, or perhaps move in together. we are just beginning our new life now. i arrived here five days ago, and as i said, it seems hard to believe that the separation is over. that from now on, we'll be with each other everyday.

during the last week when i was preparing for my trip, i was an emotional mess. luckily, i don't think anyone noticed, although of course satyajit did. i was terribly nervous about us finally living together, about staying in india when i'm so culturally american, about being away from my friends and family and beloved maryland for months at a time. about missing fooball season! i know the redskins are going to do better this year...about not knowing how to speak (more importantly, understand) the language of my in-laws, marathi. about not being able to drive, and not knowing where to go even if i could. about feeling dependent, new, and out-of-place.

to be honest i don't feel all that out-of-place now that i'm here. i do feel new. i do feel a little nervous to try going out on my own, talking to strangers, shopping or running errands alone. but i think that's the common beginning of anyone who has had to stay in a new place, whether it's an american in india, an indian in america, or say, an african in europe. we all have to learn new things.

the best thing about me being here is my family. i do miss my family at home but my family here is really wonderful too. true, i haven't known them that long, nor do they know me so well. but they are all really wonderful people. for the past four years satyajit has been telling me that the main difference between the united states and india is how the people of each country define their assets. in the u.s., our assets consist of things, or our ability to get things: money, property, investments. in india, he says, people define their assets by people. their families especially, but also friends, neighbors, colleagues. and not in the way of what these people can do for you, but simply that they are the assets themselves; that which makes life richer.

well, obviously this is a little idealistic and of course there are plenty of americans who value their families and friends, church groups or communities. but there is something to what he says, that's true enough. now i'll finally have the opportunity to see the differences and similarities for myself. and that's definitely a good thing. but i do wonder if i'll be able to catch the skins games online?